The Letters Of Horace Walpole Vol I

1742]
To Horace Mann 249
A RECEIPT TO MAKE A LOKD.
OCCASIONED BY A LATE REPORT 01? A PROMOTION2.
Take a man, who by nature's a true son of earth,
By rapine enrich'd, though a beggar by birth;
In genius the lowest, ill-bred and obscene;
In morals most wicked, most nasty in mien;
By none ever trusted, yet ever employ'd;
In blunders quite fertile, of merit quite void;
A scold in the Senate, abroad a buffoon,
The scorn and the jest of all courts but his own:
A slave to that wealth that ne'er made him a friend,
And proud of that cunning that ne'er gain'd an end;
A dupe in each treaty, a Swiss in each vote;
In manners and form a complete Hottentot.
Such an one could you find, of all men you'd commend him,
But be sure let the curse of each Briton attend him.
Thus fully prepar'd, add the grace of the throne,
The folly of monarchs, and screen of a crown—
Take a prince for his purpose, without ears or eyes,
And a long parchment roll stuff'd brim-full of lies:
These mingl'd together, a fiat shall pass,
And the thing be a Peer, that before was an ass.
The former copy I think you will like: it was written by one Mr. Ashton3 on Mr. West, two friends of mine, whom you have heard me often mention. The other copy was printed in the Common Sense, I don't know by whom composed: the end of it is very bad, and there are great falsities in it, "but some strokes are terribly like !
1 have not a moment to thank the Grifona, nor to answer yours of June 17, N.S., which I have this instant read.
Yours, in great haste.
2 The report, mentioned in a pre- a Peer. Walpole.
ceding letter, that Horace Walpole, 3 Thomas Ashton, afterwards
brother to Sir Bobert, was created Fellow of Eton College. Walpole.